Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Banks, Bikes and Viking Turds

Here are some bikes in front of Lloyds Bank, Pavement Branch. The second bike from the left is my bike. And the bank is my bank. My current awkward financial situation means I visit the bank quite often - but I always have a grin on my face when I do, because I can't go in there without thinking about Viking turds.

Let me explain:

One of the first things I did on arriving in York was google "Lloyds Bank York" to find myself a new local branch. As I cast an eye down the page of results, I spotted the following among the results:

"Lloyds Bank coprolite - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
It was found in 1972 beneath the site of what was to become the York branch of Lloyds Bank and may be the largest example of fossilised human feces ever found ... - 21k -
Cached - Similar pages - Note this"

Pardon, Wikipedia. Did you say feces? I quite urgently needed to find a bank, but couldn't resist clicking on this entry first, instead of the normal ones listing the bank's address. Would you like to know what it said, too? I thought so.

"Analysis of the nine-inch (23 cm) long stool has indicated that its producer subsisted largely on meat and bread whilst the presence of several hundred parasitic eggs suggests he or she was riddled with intestinal worms. (Nice) In 1991, paleoscatologist Andrew Jones made international news with his appraisal of the item for insurance purposes: 'This is the most exciting piece of excrement I've ever seen. In its own way, it's as valuable as the Crown Jewels.' "

And what's more, said turd is on display at the Jorvik Viking Museum. I need to go and see it.

(This post was actually going to be about cycling in York, and how awkward it can be chaining your bike up. I took the photo specifically for that purpose because it took me about 10 minutes to chain it today, with my nose in a petunia for most of the time owing to the cramped up position I was in. I don't know why I ended up writing about the Viking turd instead. Probably because it's far more interesting :-D)


jane said...

I feel cheated now. There weren't any giant turds when I went to the Jorvik Centre. I want my money back!

Thanks for changing your settings.

grumpyoldwoman said...

There are a few giant turds working in my local branch.....

Picklesmum said...

Please go and take a photo of the 9 INCH turd. Pickle will love that one.

Patricia said...

Yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I would also love to see a photo of the giant turd - for science's sake, of course....!!

Great to have you back Ruby !

Ruby said...

LOL Jane, I think the turd was in the Archealogical Resource Centre at that point, where it was even once held by Prince Charles, apparently!

Grumps, there probably are in my branch too, as I might find out if I need a loan.

Picklesmum, I think I am going to have to visit it, you're right.

Patricia, helloooo! Don't worry you aren't alone. There is something about a giant Viking turd that makes everyone switch back to delighted school kid mode. I hope they let me photograph it!

Well folks, I can sense at this stage, the story of the Viking poo coming up in a mini-series soon!